


once upon a dream

by cafune (hensei)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fairy Tale Elements, Fluff, Huddling For Warmth, Ice Skating, M/M, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7235227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hensei/pseuds/cafune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon's high school is holding a field trip to the mountains.  His yearning for solitude and the night sky is how Gon finds himself wandering alone in winter. And on his hunt for isolation, he meets a silver haired boy, dancing on ice like nothing else Gon has ever seen before.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. fireflies and silver hair

**Author's Note:**

> Probably the longest fic I will ever make. It's going to be full of "It's too cold/let's warm up/we're stuck/ tropes" just a warning!  
> (changed the title because i halfway changed the plot too im so sorry)  
> Also eventual mature content, so there's that too. Enjoy :)

☆

Gon is jerked awake by the bus pulling to a stop. He looks out the window, checking the surroundings. It was all white. The sun shone brightly, giving the snow a glow. 

"Gon, we're here!" Zushi was jerking him awake.

"Yeah. I'm up. It looks nice here." Gon smiles.

"Yeah! But my butt hurts. That felt like we've been on this bus forever!" Zushi says, rubbing his backside as he stands up to take their luggage from the compartment. He reaches out, grunting. 

Zushi has always been smaller than most of the boys and he was insecure about it. Gon assures him it's because he's the youngest in their class. So Gon lets him take the luggage, even if Zushi was on his tiptoes and grunting. 

"Gon. Little help?" Gon stands up, smiling. He reaches for their bags with ease, slinging his own backpack and giving Zushi his.

"Gon, will you reach for mine too?" Asks someone. Gon turns to address them. It was Palm. She was two years older than Gon, and a junior. 

The field-trip organizers gave up on trying to sort the buses by school year when the seniors kept mingling with lower batches. So Gon and Zushi ended up on a bus with more juniors and seniors.

Palm was a skittish and nervous person. But she's always asking Gon for help. And Gon being Gon is more than happy to.

He reaches for her bag, sliding it from the compartment and slapping the dust off it. Palm looked at him, amazed at the simple fact that Gon could reach the compartment. 

"T-thank you." Palm says, blushing. 

Bisky— sitting besides Palm— rolls her eyes. 

"Oh. Please, tall Gon. Please reach for mine too." Bisky teases. Bisky was a senior, but she looked younger than everyone.

"Uhm, sure." Gon reaches for the pink frilly bag that could only be a pair with Bisky's pink fur boots. 

"Thanks." Bisky winks at him. Gon a little confused, waves goodbye to the two girls. 

"Come on, Gon!" Zushi calls out from the bus door. 

Gon runs to him, the chilly air hitting him like a truck. Every ignored reminder of his aunt to wear another layer of clothes was remembered. Gon tugs his scarf a little higher. 

But with how beautiful the place was, the cold almost didn't matter.

 

☆

Gon was staying in a room with three other boys. Zushi and himself and two juniors. Knuckle and Shoot, they introduce to Gon and Zushi before going downstairs. 

Zushi took his time in arranging his clothes on the wardrobes, they were going to stay for five days after all.

Gon, done and ready to have lunch, checked the balcony. He parts the white curtain, revealing a glass door framed in mahogany. Everything inside the lodge screamed warmth and comfort. 

As Gon opens the door, chills make their way in his spine making Gon shiver.

He goes outside, marveling at the beauty of the place. The ski area stretched as far as he could see. With mountains beyond them and forest trees in between. Skii lifts were in the air, transporting people to higher parts of the mountain the skii area stood in. 

Gon follows one with his eyes, and as he did, his eyes catch a glint from afar. 

He didn't even notice that Zushi was beside him. 

"What you looking at, Gon?" Zushi asks. Gon points to the object of interest.

"There. Looks like a mansion?" Zushi squints his eyes. 

"I can't see anything." 

"Hm. Well it's pretty far. But I wonder what it is? It's in the middle of nowhere."

"Maybe a vacation house?"

"Maybe." Zushi opens the door to go back inside. "Hey, Gon. Let's grab lunch." Zushi runs outside without waiting for his reply.

Gon looks at the mansion again. It looked eerie, out of place. And somehow radiated interest. 

Gon makes his way downstairs, his stomach rumbling. 

 

**☆**

After a much fulfilling lunch, Gon and Zushi along with Knuckle and Shoot were in the lockers to change onto their skiing gears. 

They sat on benches, no one saying a word as they try to identify which strap came where on putting on their skiing gear. But the unmistakable click and sure hands of how Gon did it had the other three gaping at him.

"Gon, you know how to ski?" Zushi asks him.

"A bit. Used to do it a lot when I was younger. I'm not sure now." Gon grabs the snowboard at his feet. "But I'm not skiing, I'm snowboarding." 

"Wow." Shoot speaks. This gets Gon's attention. Shoot was an amputee, his right arm was cut off, from elbow to forearm. 

"You should try it Shoot, I'll teach you. Once you find your balance, you'll be fine." Shoot smiles at that.

"That'd be great." He replies.

"Actually," Knuckle speaks this time. "Can you teach all of us?" Zushi was smiling too. 

Well, snowboarding was a lot more fun anyway.

**☆**

 

After a whole afternoon of snowboarding, Zushi always falling on his back and complaining how frozen his ass is. Knuckle was too rough, he handled it well but pushed himself too far and ended up sliding away and landing face first on the snow. 

Shoot was elegant. It took a few tries but he could stop himself and sit down with a snowboard before the night came. It was fun. And the gratitude that swelled from the three to Gon, Knuckle's appreciative tap on Gon's shoulder for making Shoot happy was a highlight too.

They went for dinner, with everyone from school huddling aroud the fireplace, roast beef and soups and all kinds of hot dishes filled their bellies. 

Palm gives Gon another shy smile as she passes him, with Zushi raising an eyebrow to question the action and Gon shrugging in reply.

After dinner, everyone stayed in the dining hall for a while, stories of how the first they went was a bubble in the air. Knuckle yawns, and asks the three if they wanted to hit the hay. Zushi agrees and Shoot just shrugs, so Gon nods.

The four of them were laughing as they climb up to their room. 

"I think I lost an inch of my nose from all the face plants I did." Knuckle says as he rubs his nose. They laugh. Finding closeness in just a matter of hours.

As they get inside, the three wanted to flop down their beds as soon. Knuckle and Zushi had top bunks to themselves. Knuckle was asleep minutes after he hit his bed, Shoot was still reading a book with a lamp as his light. Zushi was brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

And Gon, Gon looked at the mansion again. He felt curious about it. Like it was calling to him.

"Hey, Gon." Zushi calls him, already in his pajamas. "You're not sleeping yet?" Gon notices that Shoot was asleep now too. 

Gon shakes his head. "No, I'm still not tired."

Zushi chuckles. "Man. You're always so full of energy." Zushi climbs his bed. "Typical of Gon Freecs to not be tired after a whole afternoon of snowboarding." Zushi yawns, hands stretching above his head. "Well, I'm off. My whole body hurts and it's only gonna get worse. G'night Gon." He says in a low voice. Careful to not wake up the older boys, not that they would from the loud snoring that Knuckle did, and how Shoot's mouth was hanging open.

 

Everyone was tired. Not Gon. Maybe he was but he liked his time alone.

He grabs a jacket and slightly raises the heater's temperature as he passed it on his way out. No one from the school was allowed to go out after nine. And it was already a little past nine. Gon exited on the second floor's double arch window, landing with a thump in a pile of snow.

He puts his hands in his pockets as soon as the cold starts to creep in again. He walks, not really knowing to where. But he did have something in mind. He heard a couple of girls talking earlier about how they wanted to check out the frozen lake. But it was forbidden right now since no one knew how thin the ice was since it hasn't snowed in two days. But Gon didn't care. He used to skate in lakes all the time back on his childhood home. Once ice cracked under him but he knew what to do. It was dangerous, but he promises himself that he will only play around the edges.

Gon tries to guess where the lake might be, making his way on the base of the mountain. Then he followed the trees to where they were thickest, also minding where the fireflies are abundant. Yellow streaks of light floating and singing a song of warmth. His boots were coated in snow by now, his feet frozen. But Gon didn't really care.

This night was absolutely beautiful. The pine trees lined in a curve, almost like leading Gon to where he should be. The fireflies were hanging low, low enough to touch. Lighting the road in the most subtle and breathtaking way. That's when Gon notices the footprints. 

 

Maybe someone was at the lake, or someone was here earlier. 

It was unmistakable that no one broke the rules, except for a single person. Since it hasn't snowed, it means the footprints were fresh. Gon leans down, the footprints still held the pattern of the person's shoes. Gon takes it as that person is still on the lake.

He strides, somehow excited that someone just like him liked the snow at this time and at this light.

He sees the lake, all coated in ice.

The fireflies danced around it. 

The lake looked peaceful, blank and cold. But a lone figure stood in the center of it all. Gliding on the ice like he was flying. 

 

Hands inside a purple jacket, eyes closed and legs gliding on the blue ice. 

He was pale, white, and almost ethereal. Ashen hair and skin that would be lost in snow.

Gon takes a step forward, his feet sunk in the snow.

The figure skids to a stop. Opens his eyes and searches for the source of the sound.

Even from a kilometer away, Gon knew they were striking blue. Quite like the blue of the moon, glinting as fireflies danced around. 

Gon finds himself out of words. His mouth could even be hanging open but he wouldn't know. 

 

"Who are you?" The pale boy asks him.

"U-Uhm. I'm Gon." He stutters. The other boy glides again, making his way to Gon. After exiting the ice, he rubs his shoes on the snow. He looks at Gon again, from head to toe, the other boy's eyes scans him.

"Killua." Killua pockets his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard there was a lake where I could skate. So..." Gon answers, scratching the back of his neck. Killua tilts his head, unkempt ashen hair swaying.

"What? But it's closed right now. No one's allowed." Killua says.

It was Gon's turn to make a face. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at Killua. "But you're here too?"

The pallid boy flinches. "Yeah. Well I..." He clears his throat, closes his eyes and gives Gon a cocky look. "I kind of own this place."

"Eh?" Gon's mouth was hanging open.

"Yeah, _Gon._ That's why it's fine for me to be here. But not you." Killua crosses his arms, chin high in the air.

"Really? That's awesome! You must really love the winter." Gon smiles warmly at him. The thought that someone as ethereal and perfect looking as Killua was, and for him to appreciate the lake and forest and the snow enough for him to buy it was an amazing thought to Gon.

"What? Y-yeah. I guess."

"But why did you buy it?" Gon asks, his question was genuine curiosity, not a thread of mocking.

"Ha?" The silver boy looks at Gon. But Gon looked serious about hearing an answer. Killua masks his pale face with smugness. "Well, you see _,_ I kind of own this place. I bet you're staying at that ski lodge? Yeah I own that one too. And see that?" Killua points at his left, Gon follows his eyes to the direction. It was the mansion that was pulling him in earlier. "That's my vacation house, oh and my whole family is involved in Mafia."

Gon stood dumbly, his mouth open. "That's so cool."

Killua couldn't help but laugh. "What? Cool?! You're crazy!" Killua was clutching his stomach from sheer disbelief on how Gon took his statement.

"Eh? Why?"

"You really believed me?" Killua peeks at Gon, one eye still closed from laughing.

"Well, you didn't look like you we're lying." Killua pauses. He stands straight, looking at Gon again.

"You really are weird."

"We're you?"

"What?"

"Lying?"

"No." Killua answers.

At this, Gon smiles wide, stretching the corners of his mouth until it squinted his wide brown eyes. "See? So why am I crazy?" Killua frowns.

"Because, you shouldn't believe something so...sketchy. You literally believed someone like me owned a whole mountain and that mansion and that I'm from a family of Mafias."

"Aren't you?"

"Uuuuuuuh." Killua grunts, burrowing his face on his hands. "Fine! Fine! You got me. Yeah, I wasn't lying but I never thought you would _believe_ me."

"So is it okay?" Gon asks him.

"Okay what?"

"To skate with you?"

Gon thinks maybe the mansion attracted him for this reason. The mansion wasn't even pretty. It was big, dark and looked lonely. But Gon felt something tugging at him. He's pretty sure it was Killua. It was Killua's presence who's been dragging him into this place, at this very night when fireflies wandered.

Killua pauses after the question, then nods. "I guess."

Gon runs to his direction. He thinks he doesn't need another layer of clothes. Despite his cold features, Killua radiated warmth-and Gon was freezing cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This is mainly inspired by this set of prompts from tumblr: http://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com/post/112473966320/its-so-darn-cold-outside-aus
> 
> \- Gon is around 16/17 and is a sophomore along with Zushi (in case someone wanted to know)  
> -and yes they're skating without the skating shoes. i saw somewhere where they do that i think...and if im wrong and its not possible please let me know so i can edit it!!  
> -ps: also i have never experienced snow(just the reason to write a winter au fic right lmao) so there's bound to be inconsistencies and mistakes, please feel free to correct me 
> 
> -Thanks for reading :)


	2. the moon above and you

Killua liked his evenings. He liked the winter and he liked it best at night.   
For the past three nights, he's been sneaking out to skate on the lake below their vacation house. He found peace on it, a peacefulness that brought calmness in his mind til morning.  
So when another boy came knocking in his solitary paradise, he initially wanted him out.

"So can I skate with you?" Says the other boy. But this boy was different. He believed Killua. And the boy wanted to know him for some weird reason. 

He agrees to let the boy in. Not really knowing why he wasn't even a tiny bit pissed or frustrated with the guy. 

Gon, the boy says his name is. He says he heard about the lake somewhere, knew it was forbidden yet here he was stepping on the ice and finding his balance.  
Gon waves his arm around, Killua makes a distance between them. Gon looked at Killua's posture then back at his own feet, trying to mimick the more experienced boy. Afrer a few sloppy work of his feet, he slips.

"Ouch, this is a lot slippery than I'm used to." Gon grimaces. He tries to stand up, only to slide back down again. Killua scoffs, gliding to the other boy then he reaches out a hand and pulls him up. Gon gives him a smile.

"Idiot. Of course. No one skates here. Just me." Killua says as he glides away from Gon again. Then Killua starts circling around Gon.

"Wow, you're amazing." Gon says, watching Killua. The compliment has Killua losing his rhythm, pausing abruptly and looking at Gon incredously.

"T-that's. You don't have to tell me," he scratches his head, trying to hide the embarrassment. "I know that already!" 

"Can you teach me? I mean I think I got it," Gon moves his feet together and he manages to glide towards Killua's direction, decreasing their distance. "But I don't know how you do it so gracefully." 

Killua keeps to himself just how fast Gon adapted to the smooth surface of the lake. "Maybe... Try doing it around here," He points at an area on the ice. "And don't stray there, the ice will crack if you so much breathe around it."

"Okay." Gon looked at the areas Killua pointed to. Then looked at where the silver haired boy was standing.  
"Killua," he began. It catches Killua off guard a bit. "Don't stand too close to the thin ice." 

Killua's eyes widen. He looks behind him, the thin ice was still pretty far and he knows to not go there. "I'm not 'too' close, Gon." Gon gives a concerned look.

"Eh? But what if you get distracted. Alteast come closer." Killua crosses his arm. 

"Why?" He asks, stubbornly. Gon makes a face.

Then, Gon starts to approach him. "O-oi Gon. What?" 

"If you won't get away from it, then I guess it's fine for both of us?" Gon tells him. _Now_ Killua realizes they were a bit close. He looks at Gon. 

"Fine." Killua glides to the edge of the lake with Gon trailing behind him. 

"So," Gon claps his hands together. "Will you teach me?"

Killua looks at him. Really _looks_ at Gon this time. Gon had jet black spiky hair, thin eyebrows and big brown eyes. He was a little bit taller than Killua, with a broader chest and shoulders. "Yeah, I guess. Aren't you cold though? Your clothes are too thin." 

"I'm fine!" Gon smiles at that. 

"'Kay." Killua reaches his hand out. Gon stares at it for a moment. "What? Take my hand, idiot." 

"Oh!" Gon exclaims, sticking a tongue out before taking his hand. Gon's hand was cold to the touch, despite his warm features. It was because he wore jacket that's not even thick enough for a stroll outside the snow. Killua tightens his grip on the darker boy's hand, in an attempt to pass some warmth to him.   
   
Gon grips back, and it felt like the fireflies surrounding them was also inside Killua's stomach. 

"Okay, position your legs like this." He was holding both of Gon's hands now. They looked at their feet, and tried to correct Gon's posture. 

"Okay. Killua, Is this okay?"

"Yeah, a little left—" he nudges Gon's left leg with his foot. "There. Now try to—" Killua released Gon's hands, but Gon still held him. He gives a questioning look to which Gon gives back. "What? How are you gonna learn if you won't let go of my hands?"

"Oh, sorry. It's just your hands are so warm, Killua." Killua blushes. 

"Idiot. Just—Just try it." So Gon does, finally releasing warmer hands from his hold. "Now try to alternate how you—No Gon the other way—other way—" Gon was gliding to Killua's direction without him knowing because he kept looking at his feet. Gon only noticed when he was face to face with his instructor.  
As Gon hits him, they slide down far enough to thread on thin ice.  
They fall down in an audible crack. With Gon's hands on either side of Killua's waist. They froze, looking at each other.

"Don't move." Killua whispers. Gon swallows.

"Okay." 

"Slowly, _slowly_  sit up and then skate away from here." 

"But what about you?" Gon has concern painted all over his rosy face.

"I'll be fine, Gon."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go. Slowly." So Gon does, slowly sitting down, he puts his hand on his knees for leverage as he stands up. Then he looks at Killua and offers his hand.

"What? Get to the edge, idiot." 

"No. I won't leave you here. It's my fault."

"If you take my weight the ice on your feet will give." Killua hisses. Gon just had to be a stubborn brat while they were literally standing on thin ice.

"But..."

"Do you trust me?" Killua asks. Gon slowly nods. "Then wait for me on the edge." Gon finally follows, giving Killua a lingering look before turning his back.

Once Gon was finally safe, Killua had to take matters on his own hands. He only ever had this accident twice. The first time he was with his grandfather, and he was young enough then. Zeno got him out easily enough. The second time was a desperate one, he got his phone out and called Gotoh—his butler— to haul him out of the cracking ice. That was only a week ago. Silva—Killua's dad—had to call for a helicopter because they didn't want to risk it. 

But that was not an option now that he sneaked out and he was with Gon. They were going to be in trouble if he so much tells them he was out in the lake at night.

Killua places a hand behind his back, slowly using it as leverage to get into a sitting position. Hair thin lines of crack start to appear. Killua grimaces, and looks at the figure from afar. He didn't want Gon to think he was in danger because Gon would probably do something stupid like call for help or save him himself. 

Killua's brows glistened from the sweat when he finally manages to get into a sitting position. He wipes them before holding his breath again. Bending his back to stand up, he was glad the ice took his weight. And finally, he glides to Gon like his life depended on it. 

On a whim, Gon was running to him too.  
And as they meet halfway, Gon's hands were cupping his face.

"Are you okay?" Gon asks him. Killua felt faint. "You're freezing, Killua!" 

"I-Idiot. Of course I am." Gon releases his face, sighing.

"I'm glad you're okay." All the nervousness and chill from the earlier accident came melting down at the relief of smile Gon makes.

Killua sits down on the snow, facing the lake and Gon sits beside him. No one talks for a moment. Just the two of them breathing in the chill in the air, appreciating the thousands of spilled stars in the night sky, the low chirping of crickets, and the light the fireflies gave them. It was such a romantic scene. But Killua couldn't really think of anyone he would want to spend it with. Maybe the comfort and ease that this raven boy gave him was a clue.

"So, you're with your family? Staying at the lodge?" He asks Gon. Gon shakes his head.

"No. I'm here for a fieldtrip actually. My whole school is staying at the lodge."

"Oh, I guess you were those buses that I saw earlier from my room."

"Yep!"

"But if you're here on a fieldtrip, why are you outside at this time? Shouldn't you be—" Gon had an apologetic look on his face and was scratching his head. "—You sneaked out, didn't you!" Killua exclaims, pointing at Gon.

"Yeah." Gon laughs. "I always like strolling around at night."

"Alone?"

"Well yeah. I guess. I never...I never really thought about doing it with someone." 

"Huh." 

"What about Killua? Isn't it too late for you to be still out?" Gon looks at him, head resting on his knees.

"Well." Killua shrugs. "I sneaked out too. They don't allow anyone to get out at night. So much for this to be a vacation, right."

Gon laughs at that. "They didn't catch you, Killua? I mean with a mansion like that, it has to be heavy with guards."

"Yeah. They're pretty easy to fool, since I do it all the time. And I'm an expert." Killua says smugly.

"Hm. Lemme guess. Shaping pillows to represent you sleeping and draping a blanket over it?" 

"Hey!" Killua slaps Gon on his shoulder playfully. "But yeah. That's one of the _many_ things I do to get out."

"Yeah right." Gon smirks. "So you guys are here on vacation?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. I wanted to go, and I wanted to go alone. But my parents are crazy so they brought the whole family to 'have fun'. When in reality they're just there to piss me off and not let me do what I want." Killua sighs. Spilling his guts to Gon was somehow the easiest thing to do.

"Really? That sucks. So you're not enjoying it?"

"No. When I manage to sneak out yeah it's fun. But back at the manor no. Not at all."  Gon was thinking, Killua could feel. "It sucks. My mother is always nagging me, my father almost never talks but also never allows me to do what I want. And my brother. Ugh my brother. Even becomes suspicious if I'm slightly sleepy in the morning."

"Oh, you have a brother?"

Killua clears his throat. "Three brothers, actually. And they're all there to nag around. But the worst is my oldest brother." Killua rests his forehead on his propped knee. "But I don't wanna talk about them. What about you?"

They stay like that for hours. The cold snow beneath them was ignored, forgotten. The night changed from midnight blue to a calm violet. The whole world was forgotten, Gon tells him his island hometown where he fishes all the time and that _Killua would love it there_. They talk about Gon's family and friends and school. But when  Gon asks about him, he just shakes his head and smiles a sad smile. Killua tries to ligten up the mood by asking Gon if he snowboards, to which Gon takes the bite and tells him stories of it. Time trickled down like waterfall, they were so lost in each other. That is until Gon's digital watch starts beeping.

Gon raises his wrist to stop the alarm. 

"Oh. It's two in the morning already?" Gon says, sounding disappointed.

Killua raises to his feet. "What?! I—I gotta go."

"Are you gonna be okay?" Gon asks as he stands up to face Killua.

"It's a long shot. But by 3 am there are more butlers around the area because my mother wakes up at 4 can you believe it." Killua runs a hand through his hair. "I gotta go Gon. Uhm, Thanks? For tonight?" 

"Thank you as well—Killua!" Killua was already running away from him. 

"Sorry! Sorry! I really gotta go!" Killua says, waving to Gon. "It's a 30 minute walk! 10 if I run!" He gives Gon one last look and runs off into the forest. 

Gon realizes he somehow dislikes mornings.


	3. little by little

Gon stood, looking at Killua's back. A minute he was waving goodbye, then he enters the forest, then he was gone.  
Gon sighs as if it was the first time he's breathe that day.   
He clutches his shirt, feeling everything the night brought him.  
And he remembers.

"Ah!" He snaps audibly, then clamps a hand to his mouth. 

_I never got to ask if he'll be here tomorrow._

Well that wasn't a problem right? Gon just had to go back here again.  
He starts walking back and realizes that he's also got a long walk ahead of him, and it was already quarter to three in the morning. 

With Gon running, it took him 15 minutes, with pauses and rests for breathing. It was good to know, he was going to sneak out again tomorrow after all.  
He finally arrives back at the lodge, no one was outside and a zephyr was blowing from the north. Gon climbs through the double arch window and closes it soundlessly. Then he tiptoes as he goes back to their room. The three boys were snoring, it was a miracle they didn't wake each other up. Zushi's feet was hanging over the edge of his bed, Gon pushes it back and tucks Zushi in a blanket. Gon finally finally goes inside the bathroom feeling all the fatigue the day has brought him. He looks at the mirror—surprised to see that he didn't look tired at all. 

After brushing his teeth and changing into warmer clothes and finally laying down on his bed, he finds himself staring up, and not even slightly drowsy.  
Killua was running around his mind.  
It felt weird, like they both kept a secret. Much like that fairytale that Mito-san used to tell him when he was young. Something about a person having to go when the clock strikes 12. And the other person looked for them because they never showed up again.  
This brings a tightness to Gon's throat. He shakes his head. Killua will show up again, he was sure of it. And before he even remembers the possibility that Killua could be caught, he falls asleep.

☆

  
"Gon," shaking. Earthquake? "Hey Gon." More shaking.

"Mmm." Gon moans, his best attempt at communicating today.

"Hey wake up!" Zushi, of course. Always the morning person. "Gon, it's two in the afternoon." Gon opens his eyes halfway, then covers his face with a pillow.

"I'm not feeling well." He tells the other boy.

"Oh? Did you catch a cold?" 

"I guess." Gon says, voice muffled by the pillow.

"Okay. I'll snowboard with Shoot and Knuckle, they're waiting. That okay?" Zushi was already zipping his jacket close.

"Yeah. Have fun." 

"Text me if anything comes up." The door creaks open. "Bye!" Then it closes. Gon peeks from the pillow to see if he was alone. He didn't really feel sick, sore muscles maybe, but not sick. Gon removes the pillow covering his face and looks up.

"Killua." Killua's name felt right rolling off his tongue.

Gon swallows.

"I want to see him again." He confesses to no one. Maybe to himself, but he already knew that.

☆

  
Gon spends the afternoon watching his friends enjoy the snow from the balcony.  
Zushi was trying skiing now, he was being assisted by someone Gon didn't recognize. Shoot and Knuckle were resting on a bench, drinks in hand and snowboards propped on the benche's side. Gon smiles. He wanted to join them but his muscles ached. And also because he wanted to save energy for later.   
He looks to the horizon, just past the mountain side, close to the thickest cluster of trees, and a little to the left of where the skii lift starts.  
The mansion. Where Killua was at right now. He's probably asleep, Gon thinks. Or maybe he's up? Was he thinking about last night too?   
Another realization, to which Gon burrows his face in his hands, groaning.

"I should've gotten his number."

He promises himself he will later.   
And he wishes the sun would go down a little faster.   
Cinderella could only come out at night after all.

 

 

☆

As night came, Gon was reckless. He ate too fast and too eager. Zushi noticed it, ('I thought you were sick.' And Gon answers, 'I'm ravenous when I'm sick.') Zushi just shrugs and remarks how weird Gon is.

He stayed a bit after dinner, talking and laughing with the three boys well until late eight. Then Gon finds himself drumming his fingers a little too loudly. This gets Zushi's attention. 

"Hey Gon. Gonna grab coffee. You wanna come?" It was not really a request.

"Sure."

As they get to the vending machine, Zushi gets three. 

"I'll tell Knuckle and Shoot you're off to somewhere." The boy tells him. Gon gapes at Zushi.

"What? I—"

"It's not rocket science Gon. Drumming your fingers, tapping your feet, checking your watch every three seconds. I get it. Go. I'm not telling anyone. I know you have a reason." Zushi takes a chug from the coffee. Gon gives him a smile.

"Thanks Zush." 

"Hey! Don't call me that!" But Gon was already running out, waving. "And you better tell me what is it tomorrow!"

Five minutes before 9 meant he won't be able to go out unless he had an excuse. So Gon takes the double arch window exit again.   
And his first mistake was: being too excited. He twists his ankle.   
Gon hisses, biting his tongue to keep himself from making noises.  
It wasn't too bad. If he walked like he needed a bathroom right now, it didn't hurt.  
But it took him a while before he got to the lake. All the while sweating bullets and grimacing at every five steps.

He scans the place, looking for Killua. He doesn't even notice it was snowing.

"Hey, you lost?" Came a voice from behind him. Gon turns around, seeing the familiar figure he's been waiting for all day.

"Not anymore." He answers, his cheeks were tugging at his mouth, telling him to smile. So Gon does. Smiling wide, wide, wide.

Killua visibly flinches. But he recovers as soon as he did and approaches Gon.  
He was sporting a black fur coat now, with brown boots and blue sweatpants.

"You okay? You're sweating and all red in the face." 

"I twisted my ankle." Gon smiles through the pain shooting down his leg.

"What?" Killua scans him, sitting down to check Gon's feet. "This one?" He asks, tapping Gon's right ankle. 

"Y-yeah." 

"Sit down." So he does.

"How on earth did you twist your ankle?" Killua regarded him with a look that reminded Gon of Mito. He laughs at the memory, to which Killua raises back an eyebrow.

"Sorry. It's because I jumped from a window."

"What?" 

"I said, it's because I jumped down—"

"I know what you said. I'm asking why would you do that?" Gon flinches. 

"Well. Because I snuck out." 

"What?"

"I said because I snuck—"

"Okay, wise guy. Unless you want me to twist your ankle more you better stop." Killua says. Gon laughs. 

"I was only trying to lighten up your mood." Gon tells him. Killua sighs.

"You idiot. So why would you twist your ankle from sneaking out?" Killua asks, crossing his arms.

"Well, I jumped from the second floor—"

"What?! You jumped?! Why?" Killua says in disbelief.

"Well..." Gon drawls. Measuring what he was about to say and how to phrase it. "I used the biggest window in the second floor to escape. And since it's besides some trees, it was the perfect route. But then I was in a hurry so I kind of jumped instead of just letting myself fall—"

"Why were you in a hurry, huh? Were you going to be late for some wilderness meeting with the wild animals, _snow white_?" Killua says, flicking his finger at Gon's forehead. 

"Ouch! Killua!" Gon rubs his forehead, regarding the other boy who still looked pissed for some reason. Killua rolls his eyes.

"Why were you in a hurry?" 

"Because I was excited to see you again." Gon says simply. Killua was obviously taken aback, Gon notes that his cheeks got more rosy. Killua lifts his gloved hand to his face, covering his mouth.

"You're so embarrassing." He says, looking away from Gon.

"Why?" Gon tilts his head in question.

"Because—" Killua looks at Gon again, and immediately darts his eyes away, finding anything to latch them onto except those hazel eyes. "Ugh. Just. Sheez. What are we gonna do about your ankle?" 

"Nothing. Just ignore it, Killua."

"Ignore? It's like telling me to ignore that you're bleeding! How are you gonna get back?" Killua clears his throat, he was also taken aback at how concerned he sounded. 

"But I don't wanna go back, not right now." Gon tells him. He gives Killua a warm smile, it was barely a smile. It looked liked Gon didn't even know he was smiling.

"Well I knew you were a wild child but I didn't expect you to wanna sleep in the snow, you weirdo." Gon opens his mouth to say something until he feels a vibration on his stomach. He rummages for it on his jacket.

_Zushi: Kurapika-senpai checked the rooms. Told him you had diarrhea. Better act on it tomorrow._

Gon laughs. 

_Reply: thanks Zushi. I owe u one_

As he tugs his phone back, Gon was smiling. This gives Killua a foreign feeling. He doesn't ask who it was. He and Gon are not even friends...

"Oh!" Gon exclaims, pulling his phone back out. "Killua, your number." He offers the ther boy his phone.

"Why?"

"Just because." Gon smiles.

"...weirdo." Killua types his number, he gives it back to Gon.

"Hmm. Ki-llu-a." Gon said his name for every syllable he typed. "Smiley." He shows Killua the phone, smiling.

Killua :) 

"That's creepy, Gon." He tells the other boy, all the while blushing. Gon looks at the device again, typing. It was Killua's phone's turn to make a noise.

"Really?" Killua rolls his eyes.

_Unknown Number: Hi! :D_

Killua couldn't help but laugh at Gon's way of texting. "Are you twelve?" He laughs again as Gon gives him a pout. He saves the number.   
"We-ir-do. Saved!"

"Ahhh! Killua!" Gon reached for Killua's phone, and Killua retorts by reaching his hand away, he was laughing so much that his stomach tightened. "You're so mean! Change it!" Gon was tickling him now, futile because of his thick coat but Killua laughed anyway. A healthy hearty laugh that filled the nightsky with color and warmth. Atleast, that's how Gon would describe it.

The night dragged on again. Hours ticking by so fast that Gon let an audible gasp when he checked his watch.

"Killua, it's almost two." Gon tells him. Killua's smile from Gon's earlier story crumbled.

"Oh." The silver haired boy massages his temple with one hand, then slides it down to cover the slightest smile on his face. "I guess we better go."

"Yeah." Gon tells him. Leaning back and on his arms. They stay like that for a while. Looking up the stars and the faintest aurora lights in the distance. They were just talking about it earlier, how Gon sees them back on Whale Island all the time. "I don't wanna go yet though." Gon says.

"Well, we have to." Killua replies, finally standing up and shaking his snow covered boots. It snowed earlier, before Gon arrived but it stopped almost as soon as they started talking, telling stories and disappearing in their own world. They didn't get to skate, not with Gon's ankle. But Killua did, for a bit, just to stretch his legs. Gon finds himself completely tranced when Killua did it. Almost like watching fireflies float in the wind.

Killua reaches out a gloved hand to Gon. Gon takes it, grimacing at the pain on his ankle as he stands up.

"I guess I'll see you Thursday?" Killua asks, he almost didn't say, too shy to say it. But he had to.

"Thursday? It's only Wednesday. What about later?" 

"With your feet—"

"No. I'm fine Killua. I'll see you later." Gon asks. Killua wanted to crack a joke or tease Gon. But he just smiled.

"Okay. If you say so." Gon's eyes squinted from his biggest smile yet.

"Thanks for tonight." Gon tells him. He hums in reply.

"Hey. No more jumping." He tells the taller boy.

"Yeah." Gon almost looked sad. Almost. He was just imagining it, Killua thinks.

"Hey, Killua." The wind picks up.

"Hm?"

"I'm really happy when I'm with you." 

The wind picks up, strong enough to cover Killua's eyes with his hair. And he was glad for it, because he had a reason to cover his face.   
He didn't even feel cold anymore, not with all the blood rushing to his face.


	4. stars in our hands

It was cute, the way Gon texted him three minutes after saying goodbye.  


 

_Weirdo: Goodnight. Tonight was fun. :)_

_Reply: yeah. gnight gon_

 

And it was nice, the way Gon left a message when he woke up.

 

_Weirdo: Goodmorning, Killua! :)_

_Reply: my, someone's a texter_

_Weirdo: Hehe. Not really. Did you eat breakfast?_

_Reply: no. im lazy to get up and mingle with people_

_Weirdo: Eh? But you gotta._

_Reply: fine fine_

 

And Killua enjoyed it. Even in messages, Gon was...well, Gon.

He hated getting up to eat. Because, one: his mother would fuss over the bags under his eyes, and two: Illumi's judging and calculating stare was more than enough for him to not want to eat. So Killua eats his breakfast the way he always did. On the rooftop of the highest tower.

The mansion was big, creepy, ancient and...big. Killua hated it. His room was too much, adorned with too red carpets and thick curtains, and a bed he hated. The bed was made of dark wood, lined with gold on the edges and the headboard was painted in the most intricate designs of flora. The bedposts were high enough to reach the ceilings, with maroon curtains on the side. He hated how it looked. He loathed how it felt. Too soft, too velvety. He sunk on it so much that it prevented sleep. The pillows were too big to hug and everything smelled old.

Maybe Killua just hated the house. And Killua was sick of being trapped. He never really felt like he was, this was his life after all. He grew up being controlled and watched all the time, always told to not mingle with anyone he doesn't know. All of these things he came to hate, but meeting Gon cleared his mind: he loathed how he lived the past 16 years of his life. His family felt like he lived with robots, the butlers are nothing but dogs following his father at every command (there are only a handful Killua actually cares for). And that's how Killua finds isolating himself from the rest of the house was a good idea.

He stays where there's less of it. At the highest tower, where a single chair sat, along with an old guitar and a telescope.

It's already past 10 in the morning so it means the Zoldycks are done with breakfast. Breakfast for his family was seven in the morning sharp. And there were bells in their room that would alert them on it. And when Killua cut the rope of the bell in his room for the thirteenth time, his mother gave up on having it fixed. 

He flops down the food basket he brought on the railings of the tower.

Apples, bread, some jam, and honeyed ham. Killua sits down, chewing on a bread. He thinks for a while, then his phone vibrates.

 

_Weirdo: Hey._

_Reply: yo_

_Weirdo: :D How's breakfast?_

_Reply: lame_

_Weirdo: Really? What'd you have?_

_Reply: some lame ass bread_

_Weirdo: Bread is not lame._

_Reply: for you maybe_

_Weirdo: You're even meaner in text. :/_

_Reply: and youre even weirder, weirdo_

_Weirdo: :(_

_Reply: please stop using smileys_

_Weirdo: Okay._

_Reply: good_

_Weirdo: What are you doing?_

_Reply: texting_

_Weirdo: It's so nice to talk to Killua. Just like talking to a wall._

_Reply: oooh didnt know u could get sassy_

_Weirdo: Learned from the master. :p_

_Reply: no smileys!_

 

Despite his monotonous replies, Killua was smiling whenever he typed, whenever Gon replied. He catches himself smiling on teasing Gon, and shakes his head. He pockets his phone and starts to concentrate. 

Music was something that Killua enjoyed. Isolation made him be a creative person: skateboarding, snowboarding, skating, playing instruments, and even reading. Although he liked reading least.

He picks the guitar up. And feels the thin metals bend around his fingers, holding the hollowed wood in position. No one really taught him except for a few disgruntled comments from Milluki on where to buy a good guitar. Killua strums, feeling the tune, adjusts the guitar and breathes in.

" _Wise men say,_

_Only fools rush in..._

_But I can't help falling in love with you.."_

He heard the song on the radio. Killua was studying the song for two days now. He thinks he's got it. His phone vibrates. He ignores it, for now.

 

_"Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin...?_

_But I can't help falling in love with you..."_

Gon. Just what was he? A friend? A stranger? Killua thinks they're more in the middle. An acquaintance? Not really. More like...a secret. They were both sneaking out to see each other after all. To melt in each other's presence and waste away hours in the smile of the other boy. Killua thinks he's dangerously liking Gon a little too fast. It makes his head hurt. His phone vibrates again. He ignores it.

 

" _Like a river flows surely to sea,_

_Darling so it goes..._

_Some things are meant to be."_

He liked Gon. He knew it. He didn't want to ponder on it because he didn't want to like him. He didn't want to like a boy who can only see him at night, he didn't want to like a boy who was too bright, he didn't want to like a boy who swept him off his feet, he didn't want to like a boy he could love. 

" _Take my hand...take my whole life too..._

_For I can't help...falling in love with you..."_

 

In the end, Killua just didn't want to get hurt. 

Because he knows this is a fairy tale. Short lived and tragic, just how the real fairy tales are. They were gonna leave the place soon enough, and there was no way his father would let him stay. And no way he could visit Gon wherever he was. If Gon would even want him to... 

_Killua, you definitely will love Whale Island._

_You should visit the lodge._

_Well, my school's in the city. Don't you go there?_

His phone vibrates again. He almost ignored it, but it doesn't stop this time.

_Weirdo calling..._

 

"Hello?" 

" _Killua!"_ He jerks the phone away from how loud Gon's voice was.

"Yeah?"

_"Can we meet a little earlier?"_ Killua swallows. 

"What for?" 

_"It's a secret_." He could hear Gon's smile from his voice.

"Stop coying. Tell me."

_"It's a secret, okay!"_ Gon argues. Killua sighs. It's not like he didn't want to. But it was hard enough to sneak out at 9. But he knows he's gonna do it anyway.

"Fine! What time?"

_"Seven!"_

"What?! I can't do seven, idiot."

_"What? Why not?"_

"I can't sneak out at seven _,_ Gon. Unless you want me getting caught."

_"Oh. You don't have to sneak out. I'm picking you up."_

"What."

_"I said you don't —"_

"Why are you picking me up?!"

_"Because I want to!"_

"That's not a valid reason, idiot! You think you can stroll in here and say you're picking me up and they'll let you???" Killua had to stop himself from screaming. Was Gon even thinking? He thinks.

_"Why not? I'll tell them we're hanging out."_

"Yeah, Gon. Do that. If you want five butlers following you around and questioning you after were done 'hanging out' go do that."

_"Ahhhhh. What do I do? Killua, you're not helping."_

"Just tell me the secret." Killua sighs. It hurt how he couldn't just freely go out. He didn't want Gon getting involved in any of his family's stupid tendencies to take things overboard. He hadn't even told Gotoh about Gon in fear of his mother overhearing them.

_"Ehhhh. It's a surprise."_

"A surprise?"

_"Yeah."_ Killua starts weighing his options. He bites his lips.

"Fine. _Fine. Seven_  in the evening. I'll meet you, you know where." He hears the phone get dropped on a soft surface. And the softest exclaim of a 'yeah!'. Gon picks it back up.

_"That's great. I'll see you, Killua."_

"Yeah." The sound of the call ending was deafening...almost.

Killua bites his lower lip.

It was a risk.

 

But he's taking it.

 

☆

Killua always took extra precautions when sneaking out: it always had to be after nine because his whole family is  asleep then(except Milluki who never goes out of his room). Then, the butlers would retreat guard duty to patrols. Killua has already lied about not being able to sleep with butlers walking around outside his room, he tells them he could hear them, stubborning his way into it—he eventually won. 

There's a particular back door that Killua uses, getting to it was risky and sneaking out at seven was impossible. 

Killua will need to play his cards.

He makes his way to the central hallway, it was dark, the butlers always used the least light in order to avoid attention to the mansion.

Gotoh was on the other side, back against a tall window. Killua approaches him.

"Gotoh, I need a favor." Gotoh looks at him.

"What is it, Killua-sama?" Gotoh had a blank expression on his face like he always does.

"I..." Killua whispers. "I need to sneak out." Gotoh's eyes widen ever so slightly, but they were gone the second they appeared.

"Killua-sama, I'm afraid that's not allowed." 

"Gotoh, please it's — "

"Killua-sama. Please go back to bed." 

"No—hear me out Gotoh—"

"Killua-sama," The way Gotoh said his name this time finally caught Killua. Something was wrong...and he was too caught up on the idea of getting out to notice.

"Kil. Pray tell me what are you going to do outside, in the middle of the night." The voice resonated on the empty hallway. Killua curses. The worst person to hear him was hiding in the dark, and he failed to see him.

"Brother." He regards Illumi. The stern young man walked to Killua, giving him his unchanging expression. The last person Killua ever wanted to see was in front him right now, and he heard about his plan.

"Kil, I won't ask again. What are you planning to do?"

His cards we're out. And Killua didn't have a backup plan

 ☆

 

Killua was late. Thirty minutes late, to be exact. Gon's feet were already threatening to break from the cold. Gon has left almost a hundred messages and missed calls. Nothing. 

It ate away at him. And a thought pops out: Killua got caught.

Killua got caught because Gon was selfish enough to make him sneak out earlier.

Killua got caught because of him.

Gon bites his lips, and tries to think.

Should he go to the mansion? Maybe try to find Killua? But Killua would hate that...

"Hey, why the long face?" Gon snaps his head back to the direction of the voice. And before Killua could even finish his sentence, Gon was running to him. 

"Killua—" Gon dropped the things he brought with him on the ground. "Are you okay?" Gon huffed, steam escaping his frozen face.

"Y-yeah. I was just..." There was a look. But it was gone before Gon could even think about it. "I was just held up at dinner. But I'm fine."

"You sure?" Gon's looked like he was on the verge of crying. Killua cupped his face with both hands until Gon's cheeks were puffing. 

"Idioooot. Of course I am." Killua gives him a smile, he hopes Gon believes it.

Gon smiles through the hands on his cheeks. "Less goh!" The moment Killua's hands releases Gon's cheeks, Gon takes the chance—he grabs Killua's wrist and the things he brought and runs for it.

"O-oi Gon!"

"Sorry! But were gonna be late!"

"Late for what!" 

"The surprise!" Gon's grip from Killua's wrist slid down his hand, and the warm smile he gives to Killua meant he knew what he did.

Killua just blushed a bright bright red. And he was glad it was cold, atleast he had a reason to squeeze Gon's hand.

With Gon's hand around his the troubles that gnawed at Killua's heart was forgotten. 

Atleast for now.

 

 

☆

Through the trees they both strode, Gon was holding something in his right hand, something cylindrical. Something that reminded Killua of kites.

As they go through the forest clearing, Killua is welcomed to a sight of another lake—much bigger and unfrozen than the one they frequent. He scans the area, and Killua notices there were people across the lake, a whole group of them.

"People from your school?" He asks. Gon nods, then looks at him.

"Yeah. Most of them." They all held the kite looking things with them. Gon checks his watch. "Still an hour to go." 

"An hour? What's gonna happen?" Killua asks. Gon closes his eyes and gives Killua a toothy smile.

"You'll see!" And Killua realizes that they were still holding hands like it was the most normal thing in the world. Gon tugs the hand he was holding. "Let's sit there." He points to a fishing dock.

"I thought you said we we're gonna be late." Blue eyes narrows at Gon.

"Sorry, sorry! But if it's like this, we can talk for a while." Gon was...extremely happy. Killua could tell. He was smiling even if Killua would just say his name, and he was laughing a lot more, and he's leaning to Killua a lot closer.

"Why'd you stop at this side? Aren't we supposed to be with them?" Gon fixes the kites on his side, letting go of Killua's hand gently. 

"Yeah. Well." He scratches his head, blushing a little. "I wanted to spend it alone with you." 

It took a lot of courage to not blush and gape at the other boy. 

"You—do you ever stop saying embarrassing things!" He playfully slaps Gon on the arm. Gon retorts by laughing. He slaps him again.

"Killua!" Gon winces, rubbing the hit spot. Killua chuckles. 

"Weirdo." He retorts, tongue darting out to tease the other boy. Gon complies by tickling Killua. And soon enough, the night was resonating with their sighs and laughter. 

"Oh. By the way. Can I introduce you to my friends later?" Gon asks him, leaning back his hands. Killua swallows. This night was already too much and the 'surprise' hasn't even started yet.

"Uhm. Sure."

"What time do I escort you back?" Gon looks at him. Killua crosses his legs, and looks at his hands, trying to feign indifference. 

_Don't think about it right now..._

"A-actually. I..." He wanted to tell Gon... But what good would it do? It would only ruin the night. "I mean. Don't worry about time tonight." 

"Really?" Gon lifts his shoulders so he faces Killua, almost just a couple of inch of space between their noses. And his smile was wide,wide.

"Yeah." Killua lets himself smile too. 

~

"Oh! It's starting!" Gon exclaims, pointing across. Killua looks at the other side of the lake. People were huddling around in pairs. They were lifting the kite-things and rummaging at the bottom of it.

"Killua," Gon's voice was soft and careful. He was standing up, Killua follows. Gon held the kites on his hands. "These are paper lanterns. You light them up and make a wish." Gon says, the faintest hint of a smile was evident in his eyes. "Here." He holds out one lantern, then slides out a lighter from his pocket. As Killua holds the circle wiring on the bottom, Gon lights it. "Don't let go yet, okay?" Killua nods. 

As flame births on the core of the lantern he feels it tugging at his hands, wanting to be let go of. Gon lights the other lantern, and as it washes warm orange light at Gon's rosy cheeks, Gon smiles at him. Then like fireflies, the other side of the lake was a sight to behold. With hundreds of paper lanters waiting for flight. It was like that first night he met Gon. Fireflies hanging low and lighting up his tan face and hazel eyes. 

"Killua," Gon says in a whisper, like a louder sound would break the moment. "I'm glad you're with me right now." Gon shakes his head, smile unfaltered. "I'm glad I met you." 

Gon's eyes were golden now, piercing Killua with his fire of a stare. But it was soft, and gentle and almost fragile, the way Gon smiled and regarded him. He didn't know what to say. All he knows is, he's glad he's met Gon. So, so glad to stumble upon this sunshine of a boy. So he closes his eyes, feeling the moment. 

"Y-you're so embarrassing, Gon." He mutters. Then the lanterns across them were released, filling the lake with speckles of golden light. This moment was so fragile with time's existence. Killua knew he should make the most of it, maybe tell Gon how he feels. Gon faces him, and nods. A silent understanding. Gon closes his hazel eyes, making his wish. Killua does too. As he releases the lantern, a swelling in his chest starts to form. Gon releases his after a few seconds. And then they were alone again, watching the hundreds of lights emanating from the lanterns. It was surreal. Otherworldly.

This moment...this moment was how he felt for Gon. Warm, easing, and so so beautiful. Killua could feel the coming of his tears. He breathes in, smelling burning paper and the sea.

Gon's knuckle brushes against his. And in his attempt to make the moment count, Killua wraps their pinkies together. They stay like that. Until Gon decides it was not enough.

Their hands intertwined, standing in a sea of golden light. With Gon by his side, forever sounded like a good thing right now. Gon squeezes his hands, he grips back. Warmth on warmth on warmth. And his heart feels like exploding, hoping maybe...maybe, the wish would be heard.

 

_I wanna spend more time with you._


	5. do you feel like i feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this dellllaaaaaay. I initially didn't want to finish this fic because I think I don't write good at all. But then I realize, this is all just for fun, really. So if anyone likes it that's enough. Anyway, i'm updating it regularly now, maybe next week again.  
> and a warning: there's drinking for minors. i personally don't have an issue since it's just light beer. so if thats uncomfortable for you, just a little warning (i did change this to mature just to be sure)  
> aND this chapter is going to contain cliche tropes, so theres that, literally im so cliche i live for cliche so 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

☆

Hours have passed since the last of the lantern disappeared. Still, they sat on the fishing dock, not even noticing that the two of them were alone now. Slight ripples would surface the lake from a sway of a foot, or a pebble being thrown. It would disrupt the image that is of the night sky—lavender clouds on midnight blue heaven then dipped in stardust. The moon was alone, in all its glory, tonight nothing dared to hide it from view.

The night had a chill, barely there from the warmth the other person beside him radiated. 

Gon. 

It's not like they ran out of things to say, but when Gon said, "It's beautiful.", Killua had the mind to bask in the beauty of tonight.

And the best thing he sees is, moonlight makes Gon's eyes look like topazes. 

He must've been staring too long, Gon tips his head to the side so he faces Killua. And with a small smile he hums in question.

"Mm?" 

" _Mm?"_ Killua mocks, in an attempt to divert the attention away from him. 

Bad idea. Gon leans in closer.

"Mm??" Gon hums again. Killua had to clench his fist just so he wouldn't lean away. 

"Weirdo." It comes out as a whisper, because Gon's face was too close, too close. And he must've been blushing.

"Killua." Killua's hands felt limp, if Gon said his name like that one more time tonight, he'll probably combust.

"Yeah, Gon?" Gon faces him, and so Killua does too. Gon was staring, _staring._  And Killua almost falls off the river when Gon leans in to rest his forehead on Killua's shoulder.

 Awfully quiet, you could hear the ripples in the water, or the heartbeat of a boy. Killua was sure at this proximity, Gon could hear how his heartbeat says his name. Gon moved his forehead around, like he was trying to wipe something off, stray hairs tickling Killua's jaw.

"Change my name on your phone." Gon murmurs, Killua shivers.

"Why? All of a sudden?" 

"You named me weirdo, Killua." Something was...off. Gon's voice was deep and husky, unlike his usual high chirpy. His heartbeat picks up again. 

"Wha...what if I don't want to?" Gon was just playing around, Killua thinks.

Gon's hair smelled like the sea and pine trees. Gon moans, like how a child would when they don't get sweets.

"Killuaaaa." Killua gulps. He was leaning  back too far. 

"W-why? You weirdo." Forehead leaves shoulder, and Gon was almost kissing him as he brings his head up. Hazel eyes sparkling, red red lips and hot breath washing Killua's pale ones. 

"Killua." 

"...Gon." Gon's eyebrows shoot up, and he closes his eyes as if he was in pain, then rests his forehead back on Killua's shoulder again.

"Don't...do that." 

"Do what." Killua knows what, he knows, he knows, he'll slip away. He'll drown down the lake and hazel eyes. 

"Say my name like that." Gon's voice is low, almost a whisper. It sends Killua's head spiraling, mind almost commanding him to jump into the water or grab Gon's jacket...or both.

"Honestly," Killua grips the wood he sat on, leaving marks of his nails. "You're so weird." Gon hums, swaying his feet again, like a child, Killua remarks. The moon still playing with his eyes, he thinks, because Gon is looking like he's glowing right now. Gon chuckles, sending vibrations from his throat to Killua's shoulders. Gon lifts his head slowly, but doesn't lean away, instead he is so close. _Too close._

"Hey, you said I could introduce you to my friends, right?"

Killua swallows. He holds his hands together, pressing at his palms. "Yeah. Uhm, sure."

Gon smiles, again. He looks at Killua's eyes again, then slowly, lifts his head and looks up. The moment is bending, stretching and pulling at itself; it's calling at Killua, to spill everything his heart has been beating, to say everything his stomach churns for, to confess everything his hands are shaking for. He could do it, say Gon's name like a whisper again. And tell him, tell him how the way his hazel, brown, golden, _whatever,_ eyes are always making him feel like the whole world has turned upside down. And tell him that the way his laugh bubbles up from his throat whenever Killua cracks a joke is something he's always longing to hear. And tell him, he wants to be with him. Not only tonight, but maybe, the next. And the next.

And the next.

And it seems like Gon could almost feel every thought running around his head, because Gon looks like he is waiting, anticipating something. Killua swallows, chest feeling absurdly tight and cold sweat forming at his brows.

And before Killua could takes his chance, Gon takes his.

"Let's go?"

 

 

☆

 Gon's earlier demeanor—serious and forward—is gone like an audible pop of a bubble. He's telling Killua stories now, about his friends, someone Zushi, someone Knuckle, someone Shoot, someone Palm... Killua smiled all through out, laughed at the silly jokes. He's already forgetting the reason for the heavy weight on his chest tonight, but he decides to let go of it for now. Everything would have to wait tomorrow.

Tonight should be spent on whatever he wanted to do, whatever Gon wanted to do. Whatever, whatever, as long as it was with Gon.

They enter the cabin, Killua knows they somehow own the property, but doesn't remember ever stepping inside it. Almost everything is made of wood, and stained glasses with old colorful curtains that brightened the already glowing place. Inside the cabin is a huddle of people, most gave a pause as they saw the pair enter, most eyes stares at Killua, regarding the pale stranger they have never seen before. Gon tugs at his jacket, pointing to a staircase. 

"Am I allowed in your room?" Killua asks.

"Uhm, sure?" Gon laughs, releasing Killua's sleeve. "I mean, anyone is. Just not after curfew." 

Opening the door, Gon finds Zushi situated on his bed, laying on his front with his phone in his hand. Shoot and Knuckle nowhere to be seen. 

"Zushi." Gon calls, Zushi turns back so fast before Killua even has a chance to blink, the shorter boy is on his feet the next second. 

"Gon! You weren't at the—" Zushi's mouth doesn't close as he sees the boy besides Gon. Pale,  _so pale_ , Zushi thinks. "Uhm." 

"Oh, Zushi, this is Killua!" Gon smiles, all toothy and beaming. "Killua, this is Zushi. My friend from highschool." 

"Yo," Killua greets, raising a hand. Zushi is still gaping.

"Is he..." Zushi mutters, looking directly at Gon. He makes motions with his hands, like walking and falling. Gon laughs, then nods.

"Yeah." 

Just then, Killua catches it. Gon's eyes soften so subtly, his smile curving so slightly, and Gon just _melts_ on the spot like the conversation is something he's so fond of it's almost unbearably heavy to Killua's chest. Killua's throat tighten, a feeling starts to bubble in his core, and before he could dwell on it, Zushi's stare catches his attention.

It's a playful smirk, like  _I know something_. Zushi, still smiling, taps Gon's shoulder and nods at Killua.

"There's a little event, I think, tonight." Zushi tells them, tugging on a pair of boots as he sits down the bed. "Most of the sophomores are coming, you know, stuff highschool students does. Apparently," Zushi grunts as he pulls the boots in. "The basement's all ours tonight." Killua just raises an eyebrow. 

Gon sits down on the bed across the one where Zushi sat at. Killua mimics the action and sits beside him, he looks around, wondering where Gon slept at. Maybe the top bunk of the bed across them? It's a blind guess, but the green knitted blanket said a lot. His eyes go to the hanging jacket besides it, green, again. And the little knitted gloves by the nightstand, some goofy brown shoes he's sure belongs to Gon too. It's not even Gon's real room, it's not even Gon's room alone, but it's still practically screaming Gon, you just have to know where to look. Killua smiles absently, not noticing that Zushi has already left, and that Gon is staring at him. 

Gon nudges him playfully.

"Thinking about something?" Killua levels with Gon. Gon is leaning on his knees, his arms folded under him. It's such a simple act, but Killua's ears turn red anyway. 

"Yeah. I'm hungry." Killua answers. Gon lowers his head as he laughs.  _Do you really need to do that?_

"Come on, there's food downstairs." Gon gets up, shifting the mattress under Killua. He follows, standing up and tapping his shoes. 

Killua takes a step back as Gon turns around hastly. "We're going, right? To the little party, later?" He looks hopeful, like he wants Killua to say yes. 

So he does.

"Yeah, sure."

Gon smiles, again. Killua thinks he's never going to get enough of it. 

☆

 

 After some hot soup and pasta, and some chocolate cake that's too sweet even for Killua, the clock strikes twelve and Zushi is already calling them to the basement. 

The basement's fairly dark, smells like oakwood and fire, with a coat of heavy cold swirling around the room's space. It's big, enough to accommodate a central fireplace, a whole set of sofa, a dining table, and a pool table. Everyone's everywhere, with cards spread on tables and the constant sound of cue balls hitting one another echoing the enclosed space. No one takes notice of them from the chatter everyone has already melded themselves in, Zushi just stands beside them, scanning the crowd. 

Until a girl with bright blue hair notices them.

"Oh! Gon, Zushi." She regards them with a stare before carefully measuring Killua with a look. "And?" 

"Killua." He tells her, not offering a hand when she raises an eyebrow. 

"He's a friend!" Gon explains, and the girl crosses her arms before shrugging. 

"Okay. Take a seat by the sofas, we're starting soon." She declares before going around the pool table where most of the guys where at.

They sit down, the sofas being pulled away to make more room in the center of the room. There's maybe fifteen or more people, Killua thinks as he counts them absently. 

"Man, Ponzu really wants this organized," Zushi remarks, crossing his legs, head angled at the blue haired girl who's talking with her hands. 

After much shuffling around, everyone is seated in a tight circle, with Gon on his right and a random girl on his left. Ponzu then sets down red cups in front of everyone, before putting down one in the middle. Carefully, she sits down besides two girls.

"Okay, before we start, everyone  _has_ to drink. Anyone who doesn't want to, can leave." Ponzu says in finality. Killua's eyes find Gon's, and he's looking right back him already. Killua doesn't really mind, he's always had wine and some fancy drink during dinner or a party. He's mostly concerned with Gon, because he doesn't seem to be the type. Before he could ask, Gon takes the initiative again. 

"Killua, you still need to go home right? We—" Killua holds up a hand before shaking his head.

"I'm fine, Gon. I don't need to go home tonight. I'll be fine." Gon almost slumps with relief. A smile forming at his lips yet again, spirits rising and lifting Killua's as well. 

"T-that's great!" And this smile is something else too, it's bright but fleeting, hot to the touch. 

"Gon! I'm explaining here." Ponzu shouts at them. Killua almost scowled at her. Gon sticks a tongue out, playful smirk on his lips.

"Sorry." Ponzu sighs.

"Fine. So, as I said, we're playing King's Cup and to anyone who doesn't know, you pick a card, and a rule comes with it." 

Killua gets it after Ponzu's explanation. A really simple game really, a lot of drinking, but nonetheless, simple. The rules are mostly weird, but some are interesting, he just shrugs and lets himself enjoy it.

Everyone picks a card first, and whoever gets the highest card (Ace of diamonds being the highest) starts first. And as faith would have it, it's Gon. He flips the ace of hearts to everyone's direction, then flashing it at Killua when he leans to look.

Killua returns his seven of hearts.   
Gon gets a four, the sound of whimpers and complaints fill the air before the seven girls of the group comply. Some grimacing their faces, some pinching their nose just to get the drink down. Killua thinks its silly. Why join a drinking game if you can't handle the taste of alcohol? It's not 'til later in the game he realizes they're joining it for the fun. 

Ponzu, amazingly, downs her drink in one gulp. 

The rotation continues, so it's Zushi's turn to get a card. He picks a two, and the murmur in the air and the turning of heads is idea enough that Killua knows who's Zushi is going to pick.

"Let's welcome the newcomer, Killua!" Zushi exclaims, raising his cup. The little cheer the group does makes Killua smile, even if a little awkward. Gon smiles at him, too, even if it feels a bit forced. Killua raises his cup, tips the edge on his lips and drinks it. Bitter, tangy and cheap. And a little weak. Well, at least he wasn't getting wasted. The fire crackles as the little group cheers when he sets his cup down. Some guy refills it for him.

Killua reaches over the cup with the cards, running his hand through the edges until one sticks out from the rest, pulling it slowly so anyone else doesn't see, he takes a peek: Ten. He has to give a category and everyone will have to give out something that fits in said category, Killua recalls Ponzu's explanation. He flips the card for everyone to see.

"A hobby," Killua announces. Really, he just wanted to know what everyone will say, particularly because people would be inclined to say a hobby they did, and particularly because he's interested in a certain someone's. 

He begins, "Playing the guitar." Killua answers. Gon's next. Gon shifts his legs, looks at Killua before opening his lips. "Daydreaming..." It almost sounds like a question.   
The group bursts into laughter, (Gon, seriously?, Is that even a hobby?). Gon's stare at Killua is broken by a smile, then Gon is announcing that if Zushi doesn't answer in five seconds, he has to drink. Zushi blurts out Karate. Then the next blurts out reading, Killua isn't sure. Because Gon's stare left tingles on its wake. Like the answer is directed at him.   
A girl with blonde hair fails to talk from the flush she gets from the answer of the person before her. So she drinks, and gets a six: guys drink. Gon raises his cup to Killua's direction, toasting their plastic cups, fingers bumping Killua's. Killua downs the alcohol, still bitter but less so. Gon puts the cup down, foam coating the edge of his lips, glistening in the fire. Killua pokes his arm and points at his lips.   
And to his surprise, Gon  _blushes._ "W-what?" Gon  _stutters_. Killua's eyes widen at the reaction.

"You have foam on your lips, idiot." Gon straightens up, looks away from Killua before wiping his lips with his sleeves. He mutters a thanks to Killua, obviously flustered.

_What?_

The next person chooses a three, and said guy chooses Gon because they say, Gon can't get drunk. They've tried, they say, in multiple occasions where they also stayed overnight for fieldtrips, played games like this and Gon never once getting drunk. And weirdly enough, they were all directing it to Killua, explaining it to him like he needed to know. Killua only nods, belly warm from the alcohol and the gesture. Did they look  _that_ close?

Gon doesn't talk, just laughs as he takes his refilled cup. 

Gon, picks an eight. Everyone literally snaps quiet, the air getting heavy with anticipation. Eight was mate, Gon had to pick someone who will drink when he did. With everyone still holding their breaths, he returns the card. "Killua." He says. And everyone is whispering suddenly and nudging each other at their elbows. 

So Killua grabs his cup, toasts with Gon again, tasting alcohol on his lips again. 

Killua gets to pick again, and he picks Jack. The reason this game is played, remarked Ponzu earlier. And the cheerings and whistles is proof enough. Everyone holds up five fingers, with Killua starting the chain. "Never have I ever been drunk." Everyone raises down a finger, except him and Gon. 

Gon shifts, "Never have I ever been in a ski lodge," Killua raises a finger down, as does half of the room. The game continues, getting sillier as it's passed around. Until Killua is left with one finger, Zushi with two and Gon with one as well. It's Zushi's turn to answer.

"Never have I ever liked a guy." There's playfulness in his voice, like he's taunting someone. And the air is heavy again. Most of the girls put a finger down, none of the guys did.

Until Gon grabs the cup in front of him and chugs it in one gulp. Curses fill the air, ("Holy shit, Gon! Really?"). Gon doesn't answer, but offers a shy smile, and not looking at Killua either. Being Gon's mate, Killua grabs his own cup and drinks.

When the teasing finally subsides and everyone gives up on getting Gon to answer, Gon reaches forward, not bothering to hide the card he gets: a Seven.

Ponzu changed the rules, she said earlier, if you get seven, you get seven minutes in heaven. ("We're in high school, it's requirement.")

And somehow, suddenly, the rules change and everyone has to choose who does the challenge instead of Gon, everyone's suddenly whispering before Ponzu announces that Killua and Gon have to do it.

Gon still doesn't talk, he just stands up, sighs, and offers Killua a hand. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably a mess. im sorry i tried to edit it but pondering on it will just...irritate me more and make me not publish it u u. anyway thanks for reading!


	6. rosy cheeks and beating hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay!!! Life got in the way a lot but here's the chapter finally. The format might be all over the place because Im posting this on my phone bcos i had to get my laptop fixed.please tell me about any typos or formatting issues!!! thanks for reading! <3

 

  
☾

  
This is ridiculous, Killua thinks as they make their way around the basement, with Ponzu leading them to a room that looked like it's been here even before the cabin was built. The door creaks unhappily, wood hairs float in the air as Ponzu twists the knob open. Killua coughs on his fist as undisturbed dust fly over the air between the hallway and the room inside. The room is empty for the most part, a pile of old newspapers probably dated even before Killua's birth lay on one corner of the room, some metal buckets filled with spider webs and a bunch of broken wooden brooms. What catches Killua's attention most is the big wardrobe at the other end, and if not for the cobwebs wrapped around it, Killua would think it's something his mother would choose for their bedroom. Intricate patterns are carved around the edges, with golden highlights and silver handles.

"So, seven minutes." Ponzu declares, arms crossed. "Have fun." She says, before opening the wardrobe.

"Is this safe?" Killua notes with not much enthusiasm as the wardrobe opens—empty with dust coloring the mahogany wood in a thin sheet of grey.

"Unless you're super sensitive, then yes." Ponzu remarks. Killua tries to not glare at her. Ponzu lifts a hand to present the inside of the wardrobe. Gon sighs as he enters inside, Killua follows.

"I'll be back." She says, looking at her wristwatch before closing the wardrobe, something clicks. Killua listens to Ponzu's footsteps and the closing of the door before trying to open the wardrobe.

"It's locked." He says, pushing at the wardrobe again.

"She'll be back, Killua. Don't worry." Gon says, shifting a little, causing the dust to dance around. Killua puts a hand on his face. He leans back on the wardrobe while Gon sat cross legged.

Silence.

Killua hated this part.  
Something was up. Something he didn't quite catch. Something about what Zushi said maybe, that reduced Gon into this quiet, timid side of him. And it feels heavy, suddenly. The once light and bright air between him and Gon when they were alone on the lake now something else entirely. He's never one to break the silence, never one to ask, never one to say.

Never one to assume that maybe Gon liked him too.

Never have I ever liked a guy.

Never one to assume that maybe he's the one Gon likes.

It's just seven minutes.  
He used to spend hours with Gon. Alone, laughing, touching shoulders, Gon even held his hands.  
So why did it seem so hard now?

Gon leans over his legs, looking in front of him.

"Sorry," Gon whispers.

"What?" Killua says.

"Sorry. If the guys bothered you." Gon says.

"Why..." Killua clears his throat. "Why would they bother me?" Gon turns his head to Killua.

"Oh. Nevermind, I guess." Gon then makes his way to Killua's side, leaning on the wardrobe wall, only a couple of inches away from him, shoulders touching. Yet again. "So, are you having fun?" Gon asks him, shy smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

It takes Killua back, he breathes in, breathes out. Once twice, thrice before finding his answer.

_Of course I did. You're with me, after all._

"Yeah. They're cool." He says. Gon chuckles, raising his knees.

"That's good." Gon says. Killua can feel the alcohol warming the pit of his stomach, giving a fuzzy feeling and slight numbness to his fingers.  
"That's good, cause, y'know...I..." Gon brushes a hand through his hair. "I wanted you to meet my friends..."  
  
"Your friends are cool, Gon. Stop being so tense." Killua says, playfully nudging Gon's shoulder. "Tense doesn't suit you."

Gon looks at him. Killua can't really see his face clearly, not with the little light inside the wardrobe.   
"I..." Gon begins. He puts his hand on the space between them, then slowly leans to Killua.

Gon inches his hand closer, their pinkies touch. Killua doesn't dare move as Gon wraps their pinkies together, just like how they did it back at the lake.  
Heartbeats flood Killua's ears.  
Gon slowly wraps his hand around Killua's, warmth seeping from the other boy's hands to his cold clammy ones.

Gon burries his head on his arms and knees, squeezing Killua's hands as he does so. It's a gentle hold, if Killua pulled his hand away, it'd slide right off.

But that, he wouldn't do. 

It's the last thing he would do.

Even if it's dim enough to not see clearly, he's sure if Gon looked up right now, he would see Killua's flushed cheeks, red ears and goosebumps trailing at the back of his neck.  
At the moment, he doesn't consider that maybe, Gon looked the same as well.

Stuff like this, actions like this, it meant something, right?  
Gon had held his hand, when they were back at the lake, a grip that felt a lot like not letting go.  
This one, Gon's hand barely closed around his, and it feels a lot like a question.

Gon's always doing these little things, little things that are enough to maybe mean something, and enough to maybe just be Gon being Gon. It drives Killua crazy.

Maybe, he should find out.  
Just what Gon really feels.

Killua scoots closer, careful to not move his hand under Gon. He leans down until his lips are inches away from Gon's right ear, brunet hair tickling Killua's forehead.

"Hey," he whispers, low enough that even the dust beneath them aren't disturbed. "Hey...Gon."

Gon slowly raises his head, bits of his hair that were trapped between his hand are stuck on his forehead, making Killua's breath hitch.

"Yeah?" Gon doesn't even flinch at the closeness, doesn't even flinch when Killua's so close that his breath is still warm as it reaches Gon's cheeks.

Killua remembers how he first started to play around the ice. Zeno was with him then, old but still strong enough to accompany his grandson.  
"Feel the ice beneath you, you have to know how much pressure you put. Ice is fragile, you need to decide where to go next, if it can carry your weight, if it can stand that glide. If it," Zeno taps his foot. "...can withstand you."

And of all the close encounters of dancing underneath thin ice, Killua never felt as nervous as this moment with Gon. Because it's fragile, it's thin, it's so close to breaking. One wrong mistep and it will shatter to a thousand unpickable pieces.  
He needed to know where to go next, what to say next, what to do next.  
If anything, Killua was the expert at that. He's done so many trainings that involved critical thinking and quick reflexes.

But tonight he disregards all that. Because it's Gon.  
No matter how thin the thread of the moment feels, it's Gon.

Because no matter how fragile the moment is, he knew Gon wouldn't let anything break it.

So Killua does the one thing you mustn't do when you're standing on thin ice—breaking through it.

He takes a breath before leaning in, Gon's eyes don't even get to react.

He kisses Gon, leaving an invisible mark and barely a sound on the edge of Gon's lips. Time stops then, he knows they're both holding their breaths. Gon's lips is soft, soft, soft. And Killua knows his is chapped and frozen and cold—

He tilts his head back a little to see how Gon takes it.  
Chocolate brown eyes widen, just-kissed-lips parted, and cheeks somehow rosier than Killua's.

"S-sorry." Killua says, leaning back further and covering his lips with his hand. Gon grips the hand he's been holding.

"Killua." Killua swallows. _What on earth did I just do?_

"Killua."

"W-what." He manages, raising his hand to cover half his face.

Gon looks awestruck, he looks like he's searching for something on Killua's face, mouth parted as if to say something.

"Ki—" The sound of the door opening cuts him off, Gon's stare on the wardrobe door now. Ponzu's footsteps echoing on the floorboards.

Gon's hand around his tighten as the lock on the wardrobe clicks open.

The door opens to Ponzu, twirling the key ring around her index finger.

"Seven minutes done! Hope you had—" She's cut off by Gon walking through her and dragging a confused Killua behind him. "Hey! The game isn't over yet!"

Gon doesn't answer, and the look Ponzu gives Killua is one Killua mirrored.

Gon is climbing through the basement stairs, until they are on the cabin lobby again. Literally dragging Killua behind him, huffs of cold air coming out of his mouth.

"Gon, what—" The lobby is empty, supposedly there should be someone in watch, but there was no one to stop them. Killua thinks Gon wouldn't stop for anyone anyway.

They trudge through the thick snow, almost reaching Killua's knees, the cold creeping up his legs. They both weren't dressed for an outside walk in ten inch snow, Gon doesn't care, apparently.

Killua hisses as he lands his feet slightly hard, the cold making his feet numb and feel like it's bleeding.

"Gon—stop—I'm," He says, tugging the hand Gon is holding. Gon turns abruptly raising Killua's hand so Killua would look at him.

Gon's face is red, and he's breathing shallow as he looks at Killua.  
"Can I kiss you too?" He asks. Killua stares at Gon, his eyes feeling heavier as a cold wind pushes between them, effectively covering his flushed face with his hair.

"Gon..." Gon is still holding his hand, waiting for his answer. An answer Killua isn't sure if he can say out loud.

Just kiss me, you idiot. He thinks, but doesn't say. Instead, Killua bows his head, hiding his face before managing a nod.

Gon pauses, inhales, before dropping Killua's hand. It's a split second, but to Killua it felt like the second has stretched into something unending, something he thinks he will never forget.  
Gon cups his face, cradling his cheeks with both hands before leaning down to meet their lips—once again. Killua tiptoes as Gon kisses him, he grips Gon's jacket, trying to tug him closer.

Gon smells like the entire winter, the entire world, the leaves buried under the snow, the crackling fire inside the cabin—Gon's lips felt like everything.

Gon slowly pulls back, still cupping Killua's face as they stare at each other.

"Is...is this your first kiss?" Gon asks, huffing in between. The question tales a while to register to Killua.

"S-second, idiot." Gon perks up, stares at Killua with wide eyes.

Gon leans in again, catching Killua off guard, a yelp escapes his lips, but Gon still manages to peck him on the edge of his lips. "Then that's your third?"

"W-what are you doing." Killua manages, flushing so red he feels warm despite the snow underneath his feet.

"I...I'm so happy, Killua." Gon says, leaning down to touch their foreheads, his frozen breath leaving tingles on Killua's cheeks.

Gon's trying to catch his breath, his chest heaving in and out slightly, his lips glistening from their last kiss.

Killua meets his eyes, they look at each other, not uttering a word. Gon's hands still cupping his cheeks in a warm hold. And like an understanding, this time, they both lean in, meeting each other half-way.

It's their fourth kiss.

The moon is still peaking over the clouds and a light snow still falls through.

Gon wouldn't let the sun rise if he could. He'd spend this night with Killua for as long as he could.  
Because for some reason, kissing Killua felt like saying goodbye.

Gon grips Killua's hands tighter.

  


 

 

 


End file.
